Physical separation from children can be difficult. You can feel anxious, lonely, or grief when these children are not with you. It’s important to maintain connection with children not only to support your emotional needs, but also the emotional and developmental needs of the child. Children rely on safe and secure attachments with adults in order to thrive. Imagine that you are a concrete foundation on which a child will build a house. With a strong foundation of adult attachment figures, children are better able to build healthy and happy lives. Therefore, maintaining connection with children when you are not physically present is vital. 

Try these creative methods to maintain connection with children while your away. 

Give the child an object which they can have with them when you’re gone. This object can be something special that you own or something that represents your relationship with the child. Here’s an example: A uncle who traveled often gave his niece a very special LEGO piece. They often played with LEGOs together. The girl kept this piece in her pocket and it helped to remind her of her uncle and to feel connected to him. Try giving a child an object to remember you by and to feel connected to you. 

Display Photographs. 

Provide and display photographs of yourself, you and the child, or something that represent your relationship. You can frame a photograph and place in in the child’s home. You can also display photos as wallpaper or backgrounds on the child’s electronic devices. Looking at photographs can help children to remember that we are thinking of them and connected to them. 

Is there a particular scent that would remind the child of you? Perhaps it’s a cologne, perfume, body spray, or the smell of certain food. Distribute this scent in an area that the child has access to. You can elicit the help of an adult whose present with the child if the scent needs to be redistributed or created. Scent can open up a variety of memories and positive emotions. 

Write a Note. 

You can write the child a hand written note that you give to them before you leave or you can have another adult give to to them after you’re gone. You can also leave it somewhere where they will find it. Instead of a physical note you can send them a text or email. These notes can communicate something silly, fun, or heartfelt. 

Take part in the game A Gift A Day While I’m Away. In this game the child is given a small gift every day that the adult is not present. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. These should be small inexpensive gifts that can be bought or handmade. The point of this game is consistency as everyday the child is reminded of the adult is thinking of them. 

When you’re away you might call or facetime a child in order to check in on them. But, often these check-ins aren’t scheduled. This can be difficult for children because they never know when they will hear your voice or see your face. It may be better to schedule check-ins so that child knows in advance and they can plan and look forward to this time. 

Touch. 

Children usually respond well to touch. While you’re away choose a designated adult to provide the child with safe and nurturing touch on your behalf. Some adults will provide touch to an object such as a Teddy Bear or pillow. Then, they will tell the child to hug this object when they need touch. For example: “Whenever you miss me, hug your pillow and you’ll feel me hugging you back.”

Our relationships with the children in our lives are vital for us and the children we love.. So, when you’re away try these creative ways to stay connected. 

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Amanda Ann Gregory is a trauma psychotherapist, national speaker, and author who provides specialize speaking engagements for conferences, companies, and communities. Schedule a speaking engagement and follow on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.